Have you ever been to a wedding or a party and seen a bunch of women dancing together, perhaps in a circle?
Yes? Thought so.
Well, guess what? They may look like they’re having a great time, but they’re only doing this because YOU haven’t asked any of them to dance. I’m willing to bet if you walked up to one and asked her, she’d abandon the campfire boogie for you in a heartbeat.
Women love to dance. But most of all, women love to dance with men. If no men ask them, they will end up dancing in a circle with all the other partnerless ladies (in my case, shooting envious looks at the ones with partners).
I know what you’re thinking: I can’t dance.
Maybe. Maybe not. I’m going to throw a bold figure out here – 99% of men say they can’t dance. Now statistically, that’s impossible (and yes, I’m aware I just made up that statistic based purely on subjective experience). My point is, most men think they can’t dance, but many of them can.
I’ve danced with numerous men who have profusely apologised for their lack of talent before stepping onto the dance floor – only for me to discover they’re actually really good. Maybe they haven’t learned how to dance, but they’ve got the skill.
If you’re not confident in dancing, go take lessons! Ballroom, swing, salsa – I don’t really care, and neither will she. Men who can dance are attractive to women. And dancing, like any other skill, can be learned.
Chances are that, sooner or later, you will be in a situation where there is dancing, and women are wishing that a man would ask them onto the floor. You don’t have to be Fred Astaire – most women will appreciate the fact that you had the balls to ask. Don’t believe me? Try it and see.
And who knows? You might actually like it.
Update: A comment from a reader:
As a young man I did this on quite a few occasions and was shot down, quite brutally on many occasions.
I don’t think you fully appreciate how much courage it sometimes takes to walk up to a stranger and ask them to dance. As a young man, rejection knocks away at your self confidence and self esteem and when it happens repeatedly you begin to avoid the situation.
Thank you for sharing this. I’m sorry that you’ve been shot down badly in the past. Sadly, some women are just ungrateful and rude. I don’t speak for them, but for the dozens and dozens I know, talk to and see who are longing to be asked to dance. And trust me, they are. Women talk about this all the time.
I really do appreciate how hard it is – that’s why I said most women will appreciate the very fact that you’ve asked. We know it takes guts. This ‘letter’ was meant as an encouragement. Don’t let past failures turn you off forever! If you’re not a confident dancer, take a beginner’s class in ballroom or swing. Apart from anything else, it’s a wonderful confidence boost once you get the basics.
A number of other commenters have mentioned how tough it is to ‘break the circle’ of women. I appreciate this. Personally I hate the campfire circle – I can feel how unappealing it must be to any men wanting to grab a partner. But women don’t form these circles consciously; it just happens. I think of it as a natural response to the self-consciousness of being on the dance floor without a partner. You just naturally form a sort of ‘protective’ circle to be united with your other partnerless peers. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, but it does just happen. Saying ‘women should stop doing this’ isn’t going to solve anything.
Perhaps the trick is to get the girl right away, before she joins the circle of doom. Just a thought.